Learning About Food

From the Bright Horizons Newsletter

Where Does Our Food Come From?

Ty, age 4, stared with wonder at the long orange vegetable with the big green leaves coming out of the top. “What is this?” he asked his Dad. His Dad replied, “That’s a carrot.” “That’s a carrot??” asked Ty. “I thought carrots were those little orange things that come in plastic bags.” Recent marketing data has shown that there has been an upsurge this year in families planting vegetable gardens. Hard economic times have been leading more of us back to the backyard garden. In tough times, backyard gardens make a lot of sense, but they make sense for more than financial reasons. Many children have never had experience with where food comes from. A by-product of less and less time outdoors, a trend for many U.S. families, is that fewer children get first-hand experience with food sources. In days past, more of us had backyard gardens or visited a farm of family members or friends. We may have gotten to pick apples from the tree or ground, collect eggs from the hen house, or harvest beans off the plants. Today, many children only experience food coming from a grocery store. Reconnecting our children to food’s origins can build their conceptual understanding of food sources, while also providing an opportunity to talk about healthy eating and learn about the environmental implications of growing organically or transporting food long distances. Here are a few suggestions to introduce these ideas to your children: Plant your own garden which can be as small or large as you would like. Even having one cherry tomato plant in a container on your porch or patio gives your child a chance to experience the growing and harvesting cycle. Some regions sponsor community or urban gardens where several families who don’t have gardening space can farm a small plot together. Join a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) group. Many farms now offer locally grown, often organic, foods by subscription. A family purchases a “share” of a local farm and receives a bag or box of fresh fruits and veggies that they pick up each week. Purchasing shares help guarantee the farmer’s subsistence and the food is seasonal and fresh off the farm. The pick-up place for the vegetables is often the farm itself. This can become a fun and educational experience for your children. The foods each week may include some you or your children have never seen before like turnips, kale, or red beets; but learning more about these foods can become a family educational adventure. Some CSAs also offer opportunities to work on the farm. Visit the local farmers' market with your children. While your children probably won’t get to see where the actual food is grown, they will typically see unpackaged foods and some foods they are unfamiliar with. They may even get to talk to the farmer. Consider eating one “seasonal” meal each week. This would mean only using fruits and vegetables that are in season, not grown in different climates and not shipped from far away. If you shop at farmers' markets or join a CSA, this is easy, because they only carry seasonal items. Older children might enjoy making a chart of when their favorite fruits and vegetables are available locally and can look forward to their purchase. Go to http://www.localharvest.org for a listing of CSAs and farmers' markets in your area as well as for additional information about organic food and related topics. For more fun ideas on making the trip to the farmers' market or to pick up your CSA share interesting for your child(ren), read more below: Encourage conversations between your child and the farmer. Older children can keep a market journal. Questions to ask: - Where is your farm located? - What kind of tomato/lettuce/etc. is this? - When was this vegetable/fruit picked? - What produce will you have next week? Engage young children using their senses: - What does the vegetable/fruit feel like? Is it bumpy or smooth? Is it hard or soft? - What does the vegetable/fruit look like? What color is it? What shape? - What does the vegetable/fruit sound like when you tap it? Is it hollow? Does it sound like a drum? - What does the vegetable/fruit smell like? Does it have a strong smell or no smell? - What does the vegetable/fruit taste like? Do you think it will be juicy or dry? Sweet or salty? Let’s go home and give it a taste. Create a Market Scavenger Hunt: - Create a grocery list before going to the market. - Have your child help locate the items on the list. - Use check marks or stickers to show the item as complete. - Consider a “freebie” square for an item that the child can pick. Allow children to experience many different markets: - Talk about the differences and similarities between each. - Older children can add this to their farmers' market journal. - Find markets with children’s entertainment or educational events. - Meet friends for a play date or picnic at the market. Reinforce the learning at home: - Have children compare produce from the grocery store with produce from the farmers’ market. Do they look the same? Feel the same? Smell the same? Taste the same? - Create a “food map.” Using a world or U.S. map, highlight regions by category. Have children mark on the map where the produce they eat in a week comes from. (NOTE: By law, all stores need to label the Country of Origin for all produce). Green: nearby region/state Yellow: surrounding area/region Blue: inside U.S. Red: outside U.S - For younger children, read books about planting and farming. - Help children plant and care for their own vegetable plant. Cook together. Older children can help select recipes and help prepare a salad or larger meal from fruits and vegetables they helped select at the farmers' market or from your own garden or CSA.

Sharing the Gifts of Our Stories

As a Social-Emotional teacher, I often explore the concept of giving with my students. We discuss that everyone has things that they can share and give to others. When young children are invited to explore this idea and think about what they can give to others, while they certainly name material objects, they quickly begin to name non-material gifts that can be shared such as love, friendship, respect and ideas.

As adults, do we sometimes forget about the gifts that we have to share with one another? The ones that we never run out of because they are a part of our inner world and are always available?

One precious gift that we have the opportunity to offer one another is our stories and experiences. I imagine you know this, but just in case you have forgotten I would love to remind you that sharing your personal experiences of what it’s like to be a parent and what it’s like to be you gives others a rare opportunity to see into your inner world. Opening up and sharing life experiences with one another can be a powerful offering that provides immeasurable support, encouragement, resources, opportunities to grow and new understanding for one another. I have learned so much from families who have graciously allowed me to peek into the windows of their interior worlds, sharing what it’s like to be a parent, the joys and challenges they face, the funny stories that emerge, the despair and frustration that always seems to rise up and so much more. And I know I’m not the only one who values this. 59% of the participants in my past parenting groups said that one of the most valuable parts of the group was hearing the stories and experiences of other parents.

“Sharing real-life experiences with other parents was the most meaningful moment for me in the group. I realized that I’m not so bad after all! Others have many of the same issues I have.”

“A valuable way to learn from other’s experiences as well as to understand that many others, who seem perfect on the surface, are facing similar issues.”

“I found it valuable to know that as parents, we all have hopes, dreams, areas of challenge and areas of expertise. We all want what is best for our kids because we love them so deeply.”

Next time you're in a conversation with someone and there seems to be an opening, experiment with sharing a story from your life or revealing something about you that they might not know from the outside. How does it impact the quality of your connection?

An Invisible String That Will Stretch and Not Break

photo by D.Hyuk

An amazing story about the bond between a mother and a daughter. I think it's a beautiful analogy that any family could play with.

Meredith has an ongoing story about an "invisible string" attaching her to her mother. This story began in a literal manner, when she at age two would wrap one end of a string around her mother and then wrap the other end around her own wrist and say that they were "connected forever." The string has morphed into an invisible string, that will "stretch and not break" when necessary, such as when she is at preschool. We have come to think of this string as an indication of her internal emotional state and a metaphor for managing separation.

For example, after a long and challenging day recently, she said that the string was very short and would break if her mother left her side. Her baby sister started crying, however, so then she added that her magic wand had turned the string into a "long golden thread that would stretch and not break" while her mother tended to the baby. "But," she warned, "when Rosie stops crying, it will turn back into a very short string that can break easily." She mentions the string every month or two, and we have come to appreciate her use of creativity and abstraction in expressing her psychological state.

~Seattle Mom

Ten Practical New Year's Resolutions for Parents

From Bright Horizons Family Solutions newsletter

1. Say yes more: to spending time and doing things together.

2. Say no more: to I want, I need, everyone has it, and everyone does it.

3. Worry less: about all the large and small highly sensationalized harm that exists out there. The overwhelming odds are with you (but drive carefully – without the cell phone).

4. Listen more; talk at less: Ask what do you think? What are you feeling? Tell me about it. What would you do?

5. Negotiate less; explain more: Our kids deserve to know the thinking behind our decisions and expectations, but should not be equal partners at the bargaining table. We are the parents.

6. Read a little more: to your child, with your child, and in front of your child – books, magazines, newspapers, notes.

7. Write a little more: notes of love, recognition, encouragement, responsibility, and daily appreciation of life.

8. Expect a little more: good behavior, responsibility, manners, kindness, and all of the goodness that lies within our children.

9. Expect a little less: constant scheduling and enrichment filled days. Slow down, you move too fast. Children need a lot of slow to grow.

10. Connect more: to family, friends, the community, those less fortunate, and the natural world.

Turning the Television Off

Personal account from a parent (not me)

We had the typical struggles with our 8 year old son; do your home work, do your chores, practice piano, do some reading. It seemed there were not enough hours in the day. Then we realized that by having the TV on, it was all too easy to watch “just another 15 minutes” which turned into just another half hour and another struggle to brush teeth, get ready for bed and still have time for bedtime reading. So my husband and I made a conscious decision to turn off the TV. There would be no TV during the week on school nights, Friday night was reserved for “family movie night” to watch a movie that we would all enjoy and Saturday morning was our son’s time for cartoons.

Our son moaned about our decision but after only three days he came to me and said that we should have done this a long time ago because now we have more time to spend together. We now have a routine that my son really likes and extra free time to play together which we never seemed to have had before. Everyone is happie

Giving Information Rather Than Nagging

Personal account from a parent (not me!)

A couple weeks ago we were playing outside after school. I was talking with other Moms and my child rode by on a scooter—he’d taken his socks off and was having fun telling us, “I don’t have my socks on!” as he zoomed back and forth.

It was freezing and I called to him a few times to “Put your socks on!” He didn’t. Then, having just read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk the evening before, I tried, a few minutes later, walking over to him when he was by himself quietly playing in the wood chips. Looking in his eyes I said simply “It’s cold and you don’t have your shoes on.” He didn’t say anything but immediately walked over and put his shoes on. It was amazing!

What We'd Like to Learn

Another inspiring list generated in a recent parenting group:

What we wish someone had taught us:

• Listen from the perspective of who you are communicating with.
• How to calm yourself when agitated or stressed.
• How to spell!
• How to be empathic and careful and conscious of the consequences of words.
• Be present – in the moment you’re in.
• Encourage first, teach second.
• How to sort through thoughts and emotions.
• How to figure out what I really want.
• That emotional intelligence is just as important as cognitive intelligence
• How to think ahead.
• How to trust your instincts/intuition.

Ways To Care For Ourselves

Here are some ideas that emerged in a staff training while exploring ways that we can take care of ourselves... The really important work that is an essential part of being present with and caring for others.

• Sleep
• Listen to or play music
• Go out
• Exercise
• Sing
• Have alone time
• Do yoga
• Watch sit-coms
• Watch a movie
• Have sex
• Drink a glass of wine
• Talk to others
• Do nothing
• Do needle work
• Snuggle
• Walk
• Create, do art
• Dance
• Take a bath
• Read a book
• Meditate/pray
• Soak in a hot tub
• Pet your cat

What We Wish Someone Had Taught Us

What do you know about life? What do you know about love? What do you know about raising or educating children?

In a recent parenting group, participants took a few moments to silently reflect upon those very same questions, listening within to the knowing that emerged. Following that exploration, parents then reflected upon their own childhood and what they wish someone had taught them. They also explored qualities they would give to their children as a gift if they could. Below are their responses. May these offerings center our attention around some of the things that bring meaning and value into our lives, deepening our awareness of how we can support and encourage the wholesome development of children.

We wish someone had taught us

• The importance of showing up reliably, doing your best
• To take advantage of great opportunities
• How to turn a traumatic experience into something to grow from
• How to trust your own instincts (not override them)
• Making mistakes is important
• That I’m good enough. Self-esteem. Self-love
• You don’t have to change the world to be successful or happy
• Communicate what you feel and not what you think someone wants to hear
• Appreciate the wisdom of your parents and elders
• Appreciate the present moment rather than focusing on the future or the past
• Everything always works out
• The power of saving money and compound interest
• There’s value in being patient rather than rushing through things
• Enjoy your present company and the relationships you have
• It’s okay to be sensitive
• Empathic capabilities
• How to handle conflict
• Not to be fearful. To try
• To trust internal wisdom
• Fiscal responsibility
• Confidence
• Include yourself on your list of people you love
• A grateful heart
• Courage to go for your dreams
• Courage to accept when you don’t achieve your dreams
• Follow your bliss and enjoy life
• There are no stupid questions
• Trust your instincts

And more wishes here.

Classroom Volunteers Workshop

I offered a 1 1/2 hour workshop for parents who wish to volunteer in the classroom. Some grades made this a mandatory workshop while it was optional for others. I held mutliple day time and eveneing sessions giving parents ample opportunities to come and allowing for smaller numbers in attendence which opened for more intimate conversations. You can download the outline for the entire session as well as the handout which focuses on the differences between praise and encouragement and other empowering communication tools.

Talking to a Neighbor, Talking to Your Child

Idea from one of Marshall Rosenberg's books.

Invite a group of parents to split into two groups. Explain to each group separately that they are involved in a difficult situation such as another person lying to them, someone taking something of theres or someone being disrespectful in some way. The group is to write out a possible dialogue between themselves (the group acting as an individual) and the other person. Group 1 is told that the other person is their neighbor, Group 2 is told that the other person is their child. Compare the two different dialogues.

Question for exploration: What is your 'job' as a parent?

Importance of Self-Care for Parents and Caregivers

David D, a nurse consultant specializing in suicide and self harm, shares about his practice for processing the extreme situations that he engages at work:

My wife and I both often come home straight from some hospital trauma, have done throughout the more than two decades we've had kids. We've always made straight for each other like homing missiles and encouraged each other to unload, and the kids fully expect us to be standing or sitting together quietly rambling on for a while...! Then, romping around with the kids and the dog for a while and being as childlike as possible myself is great for switching my brain into different mode. Also, I tend to jump into trainers and go for a run, dive into the gross physical for a while, breathe fresh air and generate some endorphins. Its also made daily spiritual practice compulsory rather than an option I can drop.... Hey, occupational trauma can have lots of benefits, come to think of it.....

In parenting groups we talk at length about self-care and how we can't give to others what we don't give to ourselves. Often parents' highest wishes and intentions are to be present for, nourishing and supporting their children. And yet if the emotional tank is empty in relation to oneself, it is not possible to genuinely be deeply emotionally present for another. David's post gives concrete examples of ways to refresh and replenish

• Make contact with other humans and release excess emotional content
• Model for children the necessity of this process (self-care) and create routines where children can expect this to be the norm
• Get active and step into experiencing life that is happening now -- with the kids, the dog, the fresh air, etc.
• Play, be childlike
• Recognize what is essential for sustaining such degrees of information input (i.e. spiritual practice becoming compulsory)

David also says that he appreciates this work because:

It s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s me until I end and widens the horizons of being beyond any notion of me.

mmmmm...now that's what living is all about, eh?