Bake Cookies for your Neighbor!

When is the last time you baked cookies for a neighbor or cooked some extra dinner and took it to a friend who is struggling to find time to cook? Did you know that doing such activities for others is actually a way to increase the health and well-being of your own children and family? I read an inspiring newsletter this morning on social capital and the value of reaching out to our neighbors. While the newsletter was not intended strictly for parents, it reminded me of the 5 Protective Factors that parents need in order to parent effectively, even under stress, and to diminish the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. This is according to extensive research conducted by Strengthening Families. One of the protective factors is Social Connections. Parents need “friends, family members, neighbors and other members of a community who provide emotional support and concrete assistance to” them.

“Social connections build parents’ “social capital,” their network of others in the community—family, friends, neighbors, churches, etc.—whom they can call on for help solving problems. Friendships lead to mutual assistance in obtaining resources that all families need from time to time, including transportation, respite child care, and other tangible assistance as well as emotional support. Helping parents build constructive friendships and other positive connections can reduce their isolation, which is a consistent risk factor in child abuse and neglect. Isolation is a problem in particular for family members who are in crisis or need intensive help, such as victims of domestic violence.” (source)

With that in mind, below are some ideas from the newsletter: Engage in Dough Diplomacy - Bake Cookies for a Neighbor from Center for a New American Dream

Taking action by supporting legislation or greening your home is important, but don't forget that we can also take action in our social lives. New Dream has always believed that change begins with our everyday choices: investing in relationships builds happier people and a stronger community--and may be good for your health. Which is why we're asking you to bring a neighbor some cookies.

Between the mid 1980's and the 1990's, Americans' openness to making new friends declined by about a third. A 2000 Harvard study found that one-third of Americans no longer participate in social activities like inviting people to their home or visiting relatives. Reaching out to others doesn't just add meaning to our lives--it's part of what makes up social capital, the shared values and trust that keep a society together and running smoothly.

Luckily, it doesn't take a lot of your own capital to simply bake some cookies (or any other treat) and share them with a neighbor you don't know. Think of it as the most fun and delicious way to make the world into what you want it to be: an open, trusting place full of people who will wave to you on the sidewalk. As a family activity, making and sharing homemade goodies is a way to have more face-to-face time and less screen time. So go ahead--knock on that door and then tell us what happened and how it made you feel.

cookies photo by emilybean

This post originally appeared at Community of Mindful Parents.

Next Blog Tour Guest, Kim Hix

The next WOW! Women on Writing author that will visit Educating for Wholeness is Kim Hix promoting her book, No One is Perfect and YOU Are a Great Kid, winner of Best Children's Book for ages 6 and under, Reader Views Award for 2007 Annual Literary Awards. She will write an entry on February 17th. For now I'll tease you with a bit about Kim and her book.

No One is Perfect and YOU are a Great Kid is a lovely book written about Zack, a young boy who struggles daily with ever changing moods. He tries to understand why he gets very sad, upset, discouraged and angry in response to what most would consider insignificant events. Zack often feels different, left out, and isolated due to his moods. He poses thought provoking questions to his audience that can spur some meaningful conversation.

This book will touch your heart and anyone who has a special child in their life who struggles with any degree of emotional, behavorial, or psychiatric disorder.

"My name is Kim Hix and I am the mother of a very special young boy who struggles with emotional difficulties. He has experienced an array of moods from an early age, which include rages, depression, anxiety, and drastic mood shifts. In our journey to find help, we've encountered many specialists and interesting people. During this time, my son dealt with feeling different from his peers, isolated, and at times, rejected. My son would express to me that he felt no one understood him and that he was the only kid in the world with these problems. What started out as a project to help my son, cultivated a desire to let other kids and parents know that they are NOT alone. In fact, millions of children are suffering with mental illness, neuropsychiatric disorders, and behavior disorders. They long to be accepted, to be normal, and just fit in. They suffer, and we, the parents, suffer all the while our hearts are breaking.

"This is why I wrote a book for Zack and kids like him, who struggle with feelings of being different. It is my hope that this story will offer some measure of comfort and belonging to the children who read it."

Roots of Empathy on CBS

Another taste of Roots of Empathy

The Dalai Lama on Educating the Heart

In 2006 I attended the Vancouver Dialogues hosted by the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education. Below are some notes of comments made by the Dalai Lama on the topic of Educating the Heart. You can hear the full webcast here.

Dalai Lama speaking on Educating the Heart

We can learn from basic human beings, not sophisticated people. They sometimes create artificial abilities that give us confusion. I prefer more uneducated people in education. We can learn much from young children. They are still unspoiled… unspoiled is much easier to distinguish in the beginning of life – once it is dirty, it’s harder to clean up. Like water that gets dirty.

“Children are more capable of naturally expressing what is fundamental to human beings.”

The fundamentals – being playful, smiling, joking… not just knowledge.

“Sometimes we take more serious artificial constructs of the human mind at the expense of what is very natural to the human mind.”

“I’m just another contributor here and still searching. I’m not here to give answers. Now is time to establish a body or group that has experience and do more research and find out evidence. If we rely on religious belief, it further complicates – what religion to choose? So universal, humanity in general, needs the focus. Can’t promote universal values on religious basis. Must use secular basis. Nobody can dispute the point that compassion and love is good. Research is needed, educational institutes to carry on the work. Non-governmental programs are more useful. Teachers, communities, parents. I am like others. It is easier to see the faults. More difficult to find answers.

This is a moral crisis, the gaps between education and the poor. Younger people will face more problems in the future. We need to not take for granted the existing system. Reality is changing and we have to find new ways to deal with reality so education has to change. . . Focusing on honesty, self-confidence, determination…”

This stuff is natural and it is our duty to be courageous speaking about it. We need research and to prove to the world that social and emotional realm and the goodness in all of us is important. Teaching people to care about community and to give them the opportunity to excel in communities.

Empathy

Empathy by Mikala
Age 6

Pen and Ink. Unsolicited gift to mom. Has been hanging on the fridge...

Speaking of empathy and compassion, look at this recent entry to the What Does Compassion Look Like? Campaign. Wow.

Roots of Empathy

Here are some articles and a video about Roots of Empathy, another program I am involved in that Seeds of Compassion has brought to the Seattle area. I'll also take this moment to express my gratitude for being connected with these amazing initiatives. A deep source of hope and inspiration for our future.

• Parent Map - Teaching Empathy: Seattle Launches a Compassion Movement
• The Wall Street Journal - Learn by Cooing: Empathy Lessons from Little Tykes
• Seattle PI - Anti-bullying Program Aims to Teach Students Empathy
• Seattle's Child - Subject: Empathy 101 Instructor: Baby Elsa (scroll down for the article)

What Does Compassion Look Like?

Hello,

You are absolutely the perfect people to share your art, wisdom and participation with this exciting Seeds of Compassion initiative: What Does Compassion Look Like? The campaign is geared towards children and you adults are welcome to participate as well. Invite some of your children's friends over (any ages), tell their teachers, volunteer to work with an after-school group at a nearby school or at your community center, call your nieces, nephews, grandchildren and friends together, share this information with anyone and everyone across the globe that interacts with children. Let's help the children's expressions shine and be seen so that our communities may learn from the wisdom that youth have to teach us about compassion.


Bird by Anna, Age 13, Lake Washington Girls Middle School

I was inspired by the warmth and compassion that a phoenix represents. To me, warm colors always evoke hope, kindness, and all that this campaign encourages

Compassion comes in all shapes and sizes, but it means the same thing wherever you go. Compassion is the ability to believe in something with your whole body, mind, and soul. It is the ability to devote your time, and even your life to a cause. Everyone thrives with compassion, it is the light that makes all things grow.

~ Indigo M., Grade 7, Seattle Girls School

This is your opportunity to explore what compassion is to you - how it shows up in your life, how you think it affects the world, what happens when we live without compassion. This is an invitation for you to create and express. Please share your experiences and views of compassion through drawings, photography, poetry, videos, spoken word – whatever medium resonates for you.

This project is part of the amazing initiative, Seeds of Compassion, whose intention is to bring compassion to the lives of children and adults throughout Washington State and beyond. Together we can create a more compassionate today and tomorrow.

I picture a world full of the sound of peace,
and empty of the racket of violence.
~ Gamada, Age 11, ArtsCorps

The Loving Owls by Javon
Age 7, Giddens School.
Compassion means showing others that you care for them
and that you will stick up for them when they need help.

P.S. If you do participate (which I hope you will) please make sure to let me know so that I can see and share your artwork with our community here. And if you're an adult and want to participate, don't let the focus towards children stop you. Let your creative expression flow!!