Sharing the Gifts of Our Stories

As a Social-Emotional teacher, I often explore the concept of giving with my students. We discuss that everyone has things that they can share and give to others. When young children are invited to explore this idea and think about what they can give to others, while they certainly name material objects, they quickly begin to name non-material gifts that can be shared such as love, friendship, respect and ideas.

As adults, do we sometimes forget about the gifts that we have to share with one another? The ones that we never run out of because they are a part of our inner world and are always available?

One precious gift that we have the opportunity to offer one another is our stories and experiences. I imagine you know this, but just in case you have forgotten I would love to remind you that sharing your personal experiences of what it’s like to be a parent and what it’s like to be you gives others a rare opportunity to see into your inner world. Opening up and sharing life experiences with one another can be a powerful offering that provides immeasurable support, encouragement, resources, opportunities to grow and new understanding for one another. I have learned so much from families who have graciously allowed me to peek into the windows of their interior worlds, sharing what it’s like to be a parent, the joys and challenges they face, the funny stories that emerge, the despair and frustration that always seems to rise up and so much more. And I know I’m not the only one who values this. 59% of the participants in my past parenting groups said that one of the most valuable parts of the group was hearing the stories and experiences of other parents.

“Sharing real-life experiences with other parents was the most meaningful moment for me in the group. I realized that I’m not so bad after all! Others have many of the same issues I have.”

“A valuable way to learn from other’s experiences as well as to understand that many others, who seem perfect on the surface, are facing similar issues.”

“I found it valuable to know that as parents, we all have hopes, dreams, areas of challenge and areas of expertise. We all want what is best for our kids because we love them so deeply.”

Next time you're in a conversation with someone and there seems to be an opening, experiment with sharing a story from your life or revealing something about you that they might not know from the outside. How does it impact the quality of your connection?

Patience, Understanding, Love, Acceptance

by Kim Hix

Patience, understanding, love, acceptance are gifts we all need from each other but they are specially important for children with disabilities, of any kind. It is difficult to ignore rude, hurtful comments, to be left out and laughed at. Unfortunately this is a common childhood occurrence, however on a more frequent and constant basis for children who are different. Children who are already fragile due to any kind of illness, disability or impairment are easy targets for those who are stronger and more confidant. Self esteem is something we all have whether it be high or low, and how we perceive ourselves, abilities and worth are all too often dependant on others. My wish is that we teach our children and ourselves to accept differences and embrace the individuality that we all have, to see beyond any physical, mental or emotional challenges. If you are a parent of a "high spirited, intense child" as I am, academically, socially and emotionally challenged; you have most likely heard some of the same accusations I have from parents of "perfect " children who do no wrong, who respond to their parents every command on queue, perfectly behaved and well mannered, who excel in sports and academics. I do not harbor resentment because there child may be everything mine is not, they are simply different, with gifts that may be harder to find to others, but not to me. My hope and prayer is that the people in general open their minds and come to realize that children like mine, and millions more ,who suffer with these illnesses, are not bad kids, not evil or purposefully oppositional, but are lovable, kind, funny, smart and full of promise as is every other child. Yes,they may do things differently, loudly, extremely,and outrageously. They need to be given understanding, reassurance, patience, acceptance and compassion. My wish is that other children who feel different for any reason find hope, promise, acceptance and the gift that is within them and realize they are not alone. Mental illness is not a choice, it is not contagious, it does not make you "less than". I hope our story will open the lines of communication for parents and children, friends and neighbors to discuss and explore behavior they may not understand. My biggest hope is that children who are seeking acceptance,understanding and answers be able to find that from parents, peers, teachers and siblings and to know they are not alone in their challenges.

Kim Hix is participating in the WOW! Women on Writing Blog Tour, promoting her book No One is Perfect and YOU Are a Great Kid.

What Can We Give to Others?

We each have a lot to give.

“Each of us possesses a wealth of ideas, talents, skills, and the fruits of our interests that we can share with others. Some people give their singing, some give vegetables from their garden, some give cookies, some give poems or paintings.” Some give compliments, some give encouragement.

“Even if all personal skills and talents were set aside, there are some things that we all can give: time, energy, and attention.”

“If, as a society, we want to raise caring adults, it will be important to provide opportunities for young people to find out what their gifts are and to experience themselves as givers – active, aware givers.”

“We will also want our children to practice being receivers – active, aware receivers. Willingness to receive from another is an additional gift that we all have to give. Receiving a gift with genuine acknowledgment and appreciation for the giver generates a flow of goodwill. The result is that each person is an equal partner in a dance of mutual giving.”

from The Compassionate Classroom by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson.

In the Kindergarten classes we discussed that we all have things that we can share and give to others. I asked the students what they have to give to others. Here is what the three classes came up with:

* Love
* Thanks
* Friendship
* Our body and energy to help win a game
* A house
* Confidence
* Expectance
* Respect
* Fool’s gold
* Songs – say or play them
* Clothes
* Leggos/toys
* Ice cream
* Animals
* Water bottles
* Listening
* Ideas
* Patience Sharing with others
* Valentine’s day cards
* Clothes – to people and children that need things
* Money to people to buy things
* Buy toys for others
* Listen to them
* Gifts
* Attention
* Money from our allowance (give to the poor)
* Smiles
* Songs
* Hugs
* Things that they need
* Listen, Give them attention
* Kisses
* Letters
* Packages
* Papers
* Pictures
* Poems
* Kindness
* Doing good things – running, climbing
* Tips
* Valentine hugs
* Hugs
* Skills to protect themselves
* Help to people
* Valentine kisses
* Moves to help themselves
* Candy and presents

It was also mentioned that some families have a “Give Away Basket” or “Goodwill Basket” where anyone in the family can put clothes or toys or other items to give to others who are not as fortunate as we are.