Win-Win

An inspiring story from a father looking for a win-win outcome and noticing what he can do in addition to what he can invite from his child. I love the creativity that emerged! This originally appeared at Mindful Parenting.

A little preparation before bedtime confrontation

M was not interested in bed this evening. At 8:30 she was screaming for her brother to be returned from a sleep over. I let her call our neighbors house to get that out of her system. Naturally her brother refused to come home.

While she spoke to him I gathered myself and prepared for a difficult bedtime. I had no goals, and nowhere to go and nothing to do. All that mattered was that I was compassionate to my daughter and had a win-win outcome for bedtime.

She crumpled down on the floor and dug in her heels:
"I am not going to bed no matter what you say."
"M, you are going to bed. You can go walking or I can carry you. I can carry you like a baby or I can carry you by your heels."
"You mean I can walk on my hands all the way to bed?"
"If you can make it. It would be a new family record, I said."
We laughed our way all the way to bed and read a book and M drifted off to sleep, happy as a clam.
Win-Win.


photo by 10secondburn

Working With The Whole Community

In December I was looking ahead at projects that I am involved in.

With children in Kindergarten, our friendship groups we will be meeting once a month to explore a specific theme. I believe this next group will focus on the difference between celebrating our accomplishments and successes and braggin... with subtle attention towards competition and comparison.

In the combined 1st/2nd grade classes I hosted mini open spaces where the students posted topics that they thought would be valuable to explore in friendship groups. They then had 3 stickers each with their name on it that they could vote with. Their vote means that they will definitely be involved in that exploration. Some groups will be with the whole class, some will be small groups in my office and some will be one-on-one. A sample list of those topics will come later.

In the third grade we are meeting in small groups based in some classes on gender and others more on personality type. Each group decides for themselves what topics we will be exploring. That list will also come later!