Keep Your Brain Entertained

An interesting npr segment on how active our brain gets when we are bored. Daydreams can suck us into an ever-interesting world of distraction. According to this article, if you want to stay engaged with the content at hand, keep your body engaged on something such as doodling. Don't let the mental activity get the best of you if you want to continue focusing, give your hands something else to do.

When the brain lacks sufficient stimulation, it essentially goes on the prowl and scavenges for something to think about. Typically what happens in this situation is that the brain ends up manufacturing its own material.

In other words, the brain turns to daydreams, fantasies of Oscar acceptance speeches and million-dollar lottery wins. But those daydreams take up an enormous amount of energy.

The function of doodling, according to Andrade, who recently published a study on doodling in Applied Cognitive Psychology, is to provide just enough cognitive stimulation during an otherwise boring task to prevent the mind from taking the more radical step of totally opting out of the situation and running off into a fantasy world.

When I host small Friendship Groups with students, I often put a bowl of rocks, shells, stick, cones into the middle of the circle in case anyone needs something to fiddle with. A group the other day began building with the objects while we were discussing some of their problems and concerns. Their sculptures were beautiful and inspiring and a nice example for this article! One child preferred the erasers!

What Can We Give to Others?

We each have a lot to give.

“Each of us possesses a wealth of ideas, talents, skills, and the fruits of our interests that we can share with others. Some people give their singing, some give vegetables from their garden, some give cookies, some give poems or paintings.” Some give compliments, some give encouragement.

“Even if all personal skills and talents were set aside, there are some things that we all can give: time, energy, and attention.”

“If, as a society, we want to raise caring adults, it will be important to provide opportunities for young people to find out what their gifts are and to experience themselves as givers – active, aware givers.”

“We will also want our children to practice being receivers – active, aware receivers. Willingness to receive from another is an additional gift that we all have to give. Receiving a gift with genuine acknowledgment and appreciation for the giver generates a flow of goodwill. The result is that each person is an equal partner in a dance of mutual giving.”

from The Compassionate Classroom by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson.

In the Kindergarten classes we discussed that we all have things that we can share and give to others. I asked the students what they have to give to others. Here is what the three classes came up with:

* Love
* Thanks
* Friendship
* Our body and energy to help win a game
* A house
* Confidence
* Expectance
* Respect
* Fool’s gold
* Songs – say or play them
* Clothes
* Leggos/toys
* Ice cream
* Animals
* Water bottles
* Listening
* Ideas
* Patience Sharing with others
* Valentine’s day cards
* Clothes – to people and children that need things
* Money to people to buy things
* Buy toys for others
* Listen to them
* Gifts
* Attention
* Money from our allowance (give to the poor)
* Smiles
* Songs
* Hugs
* Things that they need
* Listen, Give them attention
* Kisses
* Letters
* Packages
* Papers
* Pictures
* Poems
* Kindness
* Doing good things – running, climbing
* Tips
* Valentine hugs
* Hugs
* Skills to protect themselves
* Help to people
* Valentine kisses
* Moves to help themselves
* Candy and presents

It was also mentioned that some families have a “Give Away Basket” or “Goodwill Basket” where anyone in the family can put clothes or toys or other items to give to others who are not as fortunate as we are.

Working With The Whole Community

In December I was looking ahead at projects that I am involved in.

With children in Kindergarten, our friendship groups we will be meeting once a month to explore a specific theme. I believe this next group will focus on the difference between celebrating our accomplishments and successes and braggin... with subtle attention towards competition and comparison.

In the combined 1st/2nd grade classes I hosted mini open spaces where the students posted topics that they thought would be valuable to explore in friendship groups. They then had 3 stickers each with their name on it that they could vote with. Their vote means that they will definitely be involved in that exploration. Some groups will be with the whole class, some will be small groups in my office and some will be one-on-one. A sample list of those topics will come later.

In the third grade we are meeting in small groups based in some classes on gender and others more on personality type. Each group decides for themselves what topics we will be exploring. That list will also come later!

Play Baby Time

From a Parent:

My younger daughter, age 4, has been asking me to do things she is perfectly capable of doing herself, such as demanding that I put on her shoes, that she sit on my lap at meals, that I carry her places, that I wipe her bottom when she poops. She told me she knows she is 4 but 4 isn't really very big and so she is still really a baby.

So, Play Baby Time was created. I told her that I wanted to pretend she was a baby and would do all the things a mom does with a baby, but not always. I asked her to pick a day of the week when we would have PBT, expecting her to say "All of them". However, she chose only one. I then asked her how long PBT should last. Her 6.5 year old sister suggested 3 hours and fortunately my "baby" thought that 1 hour would be fine. So, we now have PBT on Wednesdays from 6-7pm. During that hour, I feed her, let her sit on my lap, and do whatever else she thinks a baby should get. During much of the hour, she forgets and does things for herself, though I do make a point of reminding her that this is her time to be a baby if she wants.

The best part of PBT is the rest of the week. The other day, we were in a rush and I started to put her shoes and socks on. She said, "Mom, are we in Play Baby Time now?" "Oh my goodness," I said. "I made a mistake. It's not PBT until Wednesday! Well, you got a free sock there." She laughed and put her other sock and shoes on. No demands for me to do things she can do herself. If they arise, I plan to say, "Let's write that down for the next PBT."

Out of PBT has come a request, from both my daughters, for "Play Grownup Time". The girls would like to pretend to be adults, which in their eyes means drinking "coffee" or "wine", "driving" the car in the garage, working on the computer, and talking on the phone. We will iron out the details at our next Family Meeting. Maybe they'd like to pay a few bills while they are at it!

Stop Means Stop Friendship Group

From a Kindergarten teacher's newsletter regarding our friendship group
this week:

This week Ashley talked about the
importance of “Stop means stop.” When someone tells you to stop doing a
behavior, you need to stop right away. We practiced this with a role
play. We also talked about courage. A child in our class gave the
definition of courage as, “Doing something that is hard to do.”
Sometimes it takes courage to tell someone to stop, especially when you
are friends with that person.

Obviously there is
more to this learning activity... hopefully to be written about later.

What do friends do?

In a previous class, students drew a picture of friends doing something after learning skills for active listening. This lesson begins by asking the students what they can remember about being an active listener. Once most of the important points have been named, invite them to practice active listening again today while we share our pictures from last week.

Students who wish can share their drawing of friends doing something. Create a list of things that friends like to do. This list can be a resource for children who are looking for something to do, especially at recess. It can even be made into a wheel that is labeled with ideas for things to do that children can turn to when in need. While the students are sharing their art work, the other children are practicing active listening. If students forget, remind them that we are practing active listening and inquire about one thing that you do when you are actively listening.

If there is extra time the students can color in the drawings they made.

One class asked if the drawings can be made into a book... We'll explore that more when they share their drawings next week.

Talking to a Neighbor, Talking to Your Child

Idea from one of Marshall Rosenberg's books.

Invite a group of parents to split into two groups. Explain to each group separately that they are involved in a difficult situation such as another person lying to them, someone taking something of theres or someone being disrespectful in some way. The group is to write out a possible dialogue between themselves (the group acting as an individual) and the other person. Group 1 is told that the other person is their neighbor, Group 2 is told that the other person is their child. Compare the two different dialogues.

Question for exploration: What is your 'job' as a parent?

Friends Doing Something

After the Active Listening lesson, the students return to their tables to draw a picture with just pencil of friends doing something. As they finish the teacher writes on the back (for a class with Kindergartners) what the friends are doing. Next week, to practice Active Listening, the students who wish will present their pictures to the class and follow the discussion that unfolds.

Modeling Active Listening and Not Interrupting

Lesson from Teaching Children to Care by Ruth Sidney Charney. What follows is a slightly modified quote found on page 109-111

Demonstrating

"I am going to demonstrate [active] listening, so imagine that Ms. Jones is sharing a story at meeting time and I am a good listener. Watch me." (Ms. Jones is the assistant teacher and has been recruited for this modeling.) Ms. Jones begins to tell about their trip to the museum. I sit still, facing her, and when she finishes, I raise my hand and ask a question.

Noticing

After Ms. Jones answers my question, I ask the class, "What did you notice I did as a [active] listener?"

• You looked at Ms. Jones
• You didn't fidget or anything
• Yes. I kept my body still.
• You raised your hand.
• When?
• You waited until she was done to raise your hand.
• You asked a question

Summarizing and Reminding

I summarize and remind students of the discussion that just took place. "[Active] listeners are still, look at the speaker, and raise their hands with a question after the speaker is finished. Remind me, what's one thing you do when you listen? Who else remembers something?

Have students demonstrate

Now it's a student's turn to demonstrate. "Who thinks they can show us how to be an [active] listener?" I ask. (I may reset the stage with anew speaker or use the same exact setup as before.)

Repeat Noticing

I then ask the class for responses to the student's demonstration. I might ask, "What was one thing you noticed that showed Alisha was listening?" or "Who noticed something Alisha said that showed she listened?" To stretch children's observation skills, I ask, "Who noticed one more thing Alisha did to show she was listening carefully?"

Everyone Practices

The lesson isn't complete until everyone has a chance to practice the behavior. In this case, it is easy to have everyone practice listening in the circle. Sometimes the behavior is practiced later, in the context of the day.

Paradoxical modeling

After children 'get' the appropriate behaviors, it may be effective to model how not to do the behaviors, using real examples we've seen from the class. I never cite names or make fun of individuals, but when I model what is clearly them, they are amused and know that I've been watching. I might use examples like the following:

• "Is this [active] listening? Why not?" (I model rapt concentration on my shoelaces.)
• "Is this [active] listening?" (I wave my hand madly through the presentation.)
• "Is this [active] listening?" (I send hand signals across the room to a friend.)
• "Is this [active] listening?" (I ask a question that the speaker has already answered.)
  

Ideas for Lessons of Exploration

Here is a list of ideas for social and emotional lessons that have emerged from reading such resources as Teaching Children to Care by Ruth Sidney Charney, Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson, Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding by Marshall Rosenberg, attending a workshop with educators and the Dalai Lama, and other ideas that just pass my way.

• Being a good listener
• What is power? Exploring power to assert oneself in a positive way. Students share times when adults have power over them. Brainstorm a school where students have power over adults. How would it feel to be a student in the classroom? How would it feel to be a teacher? What would it be like if power was shared and there was respect in the school What would the teachers do? What would the students do?
  
• How to enter a new group
• Choosing an activity, something you want to be doing
• What are our inner thoughts and beliefs?
• "Being the boss" of your own body. Staying parked in your spot. Keeping you hands only on yourself. Listening
• Raising your hand and keeping your hand in your lap when another is talking.
• Getting help from peers
• Learning how to invite people to join a game
• Learning what to say if someone wants to join a game
• Learning how to share 1 box of crayons or 3 pairs of scissors with 8 children
• Using kind language
• What words feel like and sound like to others
  
• Asking questions
• Solving problems together
• Having fun and enjoying jokes without teasing
• Learning expectations for behaviors during class
• What do you hope to do and learn this year?
• Draw what it would look like if your hopes came true.
• Visual dialogue -- communicating with lines and shapes. No words or letters. Each person is a different color.
• How good questions can expand and deepen an interaction -- Tell the first part of a story and have kids write questions for it to continue
• What can you do if you see someone making fun of someone else?
• What if you don't understand what a teacher means but everyone else in the class seems to understand. Do you fake it? Ask a question?
• What do you most want to work on this year in school?
• What is most important to you?
• Parents: What do you most want your child to achieve this year?
• Teachers: Name a unique, verifiable area of growth for each child.
• Thinking of and sharing what you would like to be complimented for.
• Role playing guidelines -- exaggerate and have fun. A role play where the person who has a problem plays the person with whom they have the problem
• Asking students what they wonder about. Asking teachers and parents what they wonder about.
• Feeling the emotional mood of a room
• Good friends that don't always want to be together -- how to say tactfully that I want to be by myself or to play with others today.
• Tone of voice for wanting to play or having a good idea.
• Saying "I like it and it's good for me" in group decision
• Exploring welcoming, greeting, hosting
• In a class meeting, share a mistake you made and what you learned from it.
• How to plan ahead
• Recognizing emotions
• Helping to control arousal
  
• Helping to put into words inner life
• Standing up for things that you think are unfair and cruel. If you don't stand up for it, you're condoning it. Having the courage to say and do whatever is needed to make things fair.
• Social responsibility
• Forgiveness -- What is forgiveness? How difficult it is to forgive. Why is it sometimes difficult to forgive? How when we forgive it decreases our own burden.